ǫ | quentin toma (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
longitudinal) wrote2024-07-06 09:29 pm
longitudinal) wrote2024-07-06 09:29 pm
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WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
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longitudinal
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quentin toma NOTES: sailor, navigator, loverboy, war-bringer. |
WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME:
longitudinal
text ❖ audio ❖ video
but you would no longer be tortured by the sight of my chest over your breakfast.
i could feed it to you, since you wouldn’t be able to see.
i could feed it to you, since you wouldn’t be able to see.
You’re not a coward.
[ quentin nearly sounds furious with the very implication that koby survived simply because he was a coward, that he wasn’t brave. he doesn’t let koby sink into the familiarity of his shoulder, and instead draws back enough to look him in the face, to let his palms slide and cradle it there, not allowing him to run from this. ]
And if you speak of such things again then I will throw you overboard myself the first time we set foot on the same vessel.
[ he shakes his head and fiercely kisses his forehead, letting his lips linger against the skin. ]
You played that woman - you bent to her whims and didn’t lose your spirit. You could have easily sacrificed yourself and succumbed to her anger and here you are. You’re here in this wretched cage with the rest of us and stronger for it.
[ his hands slide up and into koby’s hair, threading it away from his face before returning, thumbing gently at the tears there. he hates seeing him upset like this, feels a fire in his belly for his alvida woman - one strong enough that he knows for certain he will see her dead by his own hands should she arrive. the pirate woman and her crew.
he lets out a sigh, keeping koby’s eyes on his own. ]
Tell me what happened when Luffy saved you. Tell me how you adventured and helped a kind pirate, how you became a marine, how you overcame everything she said you weren’t worth. I want to hear you say it.
[ quentin nearly sounds furious with the very implication that koby survived simply because he was a coward, that he wasn’t brave. he doesn’t let koby sink into the familiarity of his shoulder, and instead draws back enough to look him in the face, to let his palms slide and cradle it there, not allowing him to run from this. ]
And if you speak of such things again then I will throw you overboard myself the first time we set foot on the same vessel.
[ he shakes his head and fiercely kisses his forehead, letting his lips linger against the skin. ]
You played that woman - you bent to her whims and didn’t lose your spirit. You could have easily sacrificed yourself and succumbed to her anger and here you are. You’re here in this wretched cage with the rest of us and stronger for it.
[ his hands slide up and into koby’s hair, threading it away from his face before returning, thumbing gently at the tears there. he hates seeing him upset like this, feels a fire in his belly for his alvida woman - one strong enough that he knows for certain he will see her dead by his own hands should she arrive. the pirate woman and her crew.
he lets out a sigh, keeping koby’s eyes on his own. ]
Tell me what happened when Luffy saved you. Tell me how you adventured and helped a kind pirate, how you became a marine, how you overcame everything she said you weren’t worth. I want to hear you say it.
Eating out of your hands would be even more inappropriate than looking at your chest.
you could always take your breakfast in bed.
then no one would see at all.
it’s a win win.
then no one would see at all.
it’s a win win.
i am but a sailor and a man.
would you have me any other way?
my door is always open.
would you have me any other way?
my door is always open.
I wasn't complaining. If all sailors were like you, I would have joined the navy instead.
i think you would make an excellent sailor. you have the build.
and on the deck of a ship, wind and sun in your hair - we’d never accomplish anything.
and on the deck of a ship, wind and sun in your hair - we’d never accomplish anything.
What's the right build to be a sailor?
Where would you get into trouble like that on a ship?
Where would you get into trouble like that on a ship?
strong arms. strong legs. strong back.
should i keep going?
and there are plenty of places. i’m the navigator - the crow’s nest is the perfect place for some trouble if you’d let me lure you there.
should i keep going?
and there are plenty of places. i’m the navigator - the crow’s nest is the perfect place for some trouble if you’d let me lure you there.
[There’s been fire in Quentin’s voice, in his movements since Koby had first stepped shivering and teary into his room, but it only registers now, with the ferocity of his words, refusing to accept something that Koby’s known to his marrow for years now. It stops the self-loathing spiral in it’s tracks, leaves Koby wide-eyed, blinking a few times at the savage tone, at the possibility that someone, anyone could look at him and not see all the ways he’s lacking. There’s no room for argument, not when Quentin looks at him that way, not with those eyes locked to his own, deep and bright and stormy.
Koby draws in a shuddery breath, still trembling, still half-caught in the roil of emotion he’s never, never let out before. Then he exhales, and his hands slowly move up, covering Quentin’s, seeking the space between his fingers and squeezing tight.]
Luffy found me. He – saved me and sank the ship. And I went with him, and I joined the Marines and…and it was hard and it was complicated and I wanted to give up, b-but. [A shuddery breath, more tears on his face, but his voice getting stronger with each words, his hands white-knuckled on Quentin’s, a tether, a guideline, a true north in a storm.] But I didn’t. I didn’t give up. And I proved myself, and my commanding officer saw it and he said – he said I did well. He said he was going to train me himself, because.
[A shuddery inhale, half-laugh, half hiccuping sob.] Because I had potential. Because I wasn’t…I wasn’t what Alvida said I was. I wasn’t useless and pathetic and a waste of space and I wasn’t her toy anymore. [Koby sniffs, exhales, tips his forehead to press to Quentin’s, nose bumping his, hands loosening in favor of stroking both thumbs across his knuckles, breathing in the scent of him, the sound of him, the warmth of him there, real, real and bright and unyielding like the sun itself.] And now I’m here. With you.
Koby draws in a shuddery breath, still trembling, still half-caught in the roil of emotion he’s never, never let out before. Then he exhales, and his hands slowly move up, covering Quentin’s, seeking the space between his fingers and squeezing tight.]
Luffy found me. He – saved me and sank the ship. And I went with him, and I joined the Marines and…and it was hard and it was complicated and I wanted to give up, b-but. [A shuddery breath, more tears on his face, but his voice getting stronger with each words, his hands white-knuckled on Quentin’s, a tether, a guideline, a true north in a storm.] But I didn’t. I didn’t give up. And I proved myself, and my commanding officer saw it and he said – he said I did well. He said he was going to train me himself, because.
[A shuddery inhale, half-laugh, half hiccuping sob.] Because I had potential. Because I wasn’t…I wasn’t what Alvida said I was. I wasn’t useless and pathetic and a waste of space and I wasn’t her toy anymore. [Koby sniffs, exhales, tips his forehead to press to Quentin’s, nose bumping his, hands loosening in favor of stroking both thumbs across his knuckles, breathing in the scent of him, the sound of him, the warmth of him there, real, real and bright and unyielding like the sun itself.] And now I’m here. With you.
I'm too far away to possibly stop you.
Above everyone's heads?
Above everyone's heads?
you’re right. then i’ll go on about your hands, maybe your eyes…
far far above their heads.
you see nothing but sky and they’ll never hear a peep from us.
far far above their heads.
you see nothing but sky and they’ll never hear a peep from us.
My eyes? No good for sailing. I'm nearsighted.
Is that where you invite all the boys you like?
Is that where you invite all the boys you like?
[ I get the feeling you don't get to choose very often. It cuts deep, exposing a raw nerve within him that he'd rather keep hidden. He tries, keeping his focus on his egg and the plate of food in his lap, but he's never been a good liar, and so it's written on his face. It's uncomfortable because it's true, not just of his unsatisfying history of hookups until now, but his whole life for the last few months. Told that Hawk made his choice without so much as a conversation, brought here against his will, the choice he'd made to run off and enlist taken away from him. Things have been happening to him, and all he can do is react.
Last night, he chose this, and he's grateful that the choice is still his to make, lovers or friends or something in between. Everything is too overwhelming to know for sure right now, but Quentin is so inhumanly patient that he doesn't feel any pressure to. ]
Thank you, Quentin. You're a saint, honestly.
[ Tim raises an eyebrow up at him, but complies, wiping his hand on his pants before taking Quentin's, letting him pull him to his feet. ]
Last night, he chose this, and he's grateful that the choice is still his to make, lovers or friends or something in between. Everything is too overwhelming to know for sure right now, but Quentin is so inhumanly patient that he doesn't feel any pressure to. ]
Thank you, Quentin. You're a saint, honestly.
[ Tim raises an eyebrow up at him, but complies, wiping his hand on his pants before taking Quentin's, letting him pull him to his feet. ]
sure they are - they'll catch the sun just right.
boys and girls alike, sometimes - boys are easier to hide on the ship. not many lady sailors, but plenty of lady pirates. sometimes the galley, sometimes the bilge room.
i can be flexible. but you? i'd take you to the crow's nest. lay you out so all you saw was sky.
boys and girls alike, sometimes - boys are easier to hide on the ship. not many lady sailors, but plenty of lady pirates. sometimes the galley, sometimes the bilge room.
i can be flexible. but you? i'd take you to the crow's nest. lay you out so all you saw was sky.
Oh careful now, I'm the farthest sailor from sainthood, actually. You'll change your mind come morning.
[ but he's not ignorant to the cut of darkness washing over tim's soft features. he's an attractive man, of course, but something there beneath the glasses and flop of downy hair shifts and he doesn't like the look of it. quentin toma is far, far too good at finding things, and not knowing when it's better to keep them a mystery.
but tim takes his hand, as confused as he is, and that is delightful enough. he gives a tug, closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around tim's shoulders, tugging him close. there are no whispers, no little kisses, no wandering hands - just the strong flex of his arms and crushing their chests together, so that tim may see it's not just his own heart beating by itself. ]
As your friend, I strongly advise you take care of yourself. Life's rough on the seas, and you're in a storm just now. It'll pass - but it's a storm all the same.
[ he draws back just enough to meet tim's eyes, quentin's smile turning a little soft at the corners. ]
Finish your breakfast, yes?
[ but he's not ignorant to the cut of darkness washing over tim's soft features. he's an attractive man, of course, but something there beneath the glasses and flop of downy hair shifts and he doesn't like the look of it. quentin toma is far, far too good at finding things, and not knowing when it's better to keep them a mystery.
but tim takes his hand, as confused as he is, and that is delightful enough. he gives a tug, closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around tim's shoulders, tugging him close. there are no whispers, no little kisses, no wandering hands - just the strong flex of his arms and crushing their chests together, so that tim may see it's not just his own heart beating by itself. ]
As your friend, I strongly advise you take care of yourself. Life's rough on the seas, and you're in a storm just now. It'll pass - but it's a storm all the same.
[ he draws back just enough to meet tim's eyes, quentin's smile turning a little soft at the corners. ]
Finish your breakfast, yes?
well of course. like the variety, the fun.
i do. grew up on those ships making all manner of trouble. but this place isn't so bad.
you see now why i enjoyed the baths so well. among other things.
i do. grew up on those ships making all manner of trouble. but this place isn't so bad.
you see now why i enjoyed the baths so well. among other things.
That sounds stressful.
I can't even message you without feeling like a selfish ass, if I were worried about women too, I'd drive myself crazy.
I can't even message you without feeling like a selfish ass, if I were worried about women too, I'd drive myself crazy.
not stressful at all. i am simply not concerned with what i'll find beneath a shirt or a dress. i am lucky to meet many wonderful people this way.
and why do you feel selfish? i don't see you being selfish at all.
and why do you feel selfish? i don't see you being selfish at all.
That's completely foreign to me. There's just the one acceptable way to be, where I'm from. I guess if someone could be attracted to anyone, they'd just choose to stay "straight" so they're not punished for it.
You don't think it's selfish to entertain these little fantasies and not actually do anything about them?
You don't think it's selfish to entertain these little fantasies and not actually do anything about them?
[ as koby begins to tell his story, quentin squeezes his hands and simply hums in response, acknowledging each point made and encouraging him to continue. they may still be getting to know one another, but quentin can read between the lines of koby's story, and the things he hadn't known - the blood, the fear, the terror - that's all something he will hold onto, use later when koby needs bolstering, protecting.
but he listens to the end of the story, the way koby's able to catch his breath as he tells it, the way he steadies in his arms. he smiles a little, encouraging, even if the intensity still burns behind his eyes. ]
She didn't know the first thing about you.
[ he leans his forehead against koby's, letting their noses nudge and their breaths mingle on the air between them in the dark. one hand pulls away from the other's, moving to wrap around his waist again, palm splaying against his back. the other stays, fingers twining. ]
And did any of what you said - did that sound like a coward's tale, Koby? Someone who would be better off nothing but a smear on the deck? Hardly. Let her think what she wants, but she's wrong and even if she was here, she'd have no power over you now.
[ he smiles. ] A dream is just that - a dream. A bad one, a good one. And maybe she haunts you there, but she has no power. Only you do.
but he listens to the end of the story, the way koby's able to catch his breath as he tells it, the way he steadies in his arms. he smiles a little, encouraging, even if the intensity still burns behind his eyes. ]
She didn't know the first thing about you.
[ he leans his forehead against koby's, letting their noses nudge and their breaths mingle on the air between them in the dark. one hand pulls away from the other's, moving to wrap around his waist again, palm splaying against his back. the other stays, fingers twining. ]
And did any of what you said - did that sound like a coward's tale, Koby? Someone who would be better off nothing but a smear on the deck? Hardly. Let her think what she wants, but she's wrong and even if she was here, she'd have no power over you now.
[ he smiles. ] A dream is just that - a dream. A bad one, a good one. And maybe she haunts you there, but she has no power. Only you do.
…no. It doesn’t. [It feels like it should, like the fact that it’s Koby, sniveling, whining, cowering runt Koby, should make up for everything else, should blot out any spark of courage, any brave actions. But it doesn’t. If the story had been about someone else, Koby would admire them. So he exhales, reaching up with the heel of one hand to wipe at his tears.] She. She knew about me. That I'm...that I used to be...she was the only one, in that world, who knew. [There's a shaky exhale, almost a laugh.] She always said it meant she knew me better than anyone. But if I saw her now she probably...probably wouldn’t even recognize me.
[Those big teary eyes close in something like relief at the slip of Quentin’s hand down his back, warm and firm and grounding, tethering Koby to the earth, not to the thoughts that are always, always spiraling in his head. He snuggles closer, breathes in the now-familiar scent, sweat and sleep and fresh sheets, something sweet from dinner that Quentin had let himself indulge in, so close Koby can nearly taste it. Part of him wants to, wants to sink into the thrilling, delicious, all-consuming fire of those hands on his skin, that mouth on his, the tangle of their bodies like drops of water coming together.
But he’s so tired. He’s so tired, and it’s enough to just lie here, like he had that first morning after Quentin had arrived, that strawberry-flavored late morning, in this very same bed. Thinking of that, Koby smiles, weary and faint, eyes half-open and sore from crying.] I don’t think about her here. I don’t have any dreams when I sleep with you.
…did you mean it? That I could come here whenever I wanted? [It’s late, it’s so late and Koby’s whole body feels wrung out like a damp rag, so he can’t fully suppress the note of longing, of hopefulness in the words.]
[Those big teary eyes close in something like relief at the slip of Quentin’s hand down his back, warm and firm and grounding, tethering Koby to the earth, not to the thoughts that are always, always spiraling in his head. He snuggles closer, breathes in the now-familiar scent, sweat and sleep and fresh sheets, something sweet from dinner that Quentin had let himself indulge in, so close Koby can nearly taste it. Part of him wants to, wants to sink into the thrilling, delicious, all-consuming fire of those hands on his skin, that mouth on his, the tangle of their bodies like drops of water coming together.
But he’s so tired. He’s so tired, and it’s enough to just lie here, like he had that first morning after Quentin had arrived, that strawberry-flavored late morning, in this very same bed. Thinking of that, Koby smiles, weary and faint, eyes half-open and sore from crying.] I don’t think about her here. I don’t have any dreams when I sleep with you.
…did you mean it? That I could come here whenever I wanted? [It’s late, it’s so late and Koby’s whole body feels wrung out like a damp rag, so he can’t fully suppress the note of longing, of hopefulness in the words.]
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