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[longitudinal]

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[holyposition]

Well, I know you’ve got the endurance for it. You’ll win.

Our first date is the arcade. Nice and wholesome. But we’ll slip down to the nightclub after, drink a little too much, and knock over a priceless vase in one of the hallways while we’re making out. Got to keep it believable.

[longitudinal]

I'd wager my endurance is even better now than before.

But you'll win at all the arcade games, you always do. I guess that means I need to kiss you well enough to make you take out the vase. It's a trade off.

Second date should be polite - a picnic by the lake. It isn't my fault if you get wet and we end up having to wrestle in the water, is it?

[holyposition]

You really are going for gold this time. Maybe we'll end up testing it out.

Not always. Not Mortal Kombat.

That would be my fault. I get so clumsy when I'm excited to get on my knees.

[longitudinal]

I'd like to show you how much I've improved if we do test it out.

I'll take the blame for it, how could I let anyone fault you when you look so pretty on your knees like that? Besides, clumsy is cute.

[holyposition]

No, you should stay scandal free until the games. My reputation can't get worse, so I might as well take the heat.

[longitudinal]

Breaking a vase isn't what I'd call a scandal. I have people accusing me of fucking my coach to get my spot on the team.

A vase is a nice change of pace. Just have to make sure you don't get cut by the glass while you're down there.

[holyposition]

Don't they televise the trials? That's bullshit.

...did you fuck him, though?

[longitudinal]

They do, which is why it's absurd. But they think there's favoritism - that it's why I was asked to qualify to begin with.

... he was disappointing. He came too quick. And he was grabby, but not in a sexy way. I didn't have to pay for my drinks though, so that was a plus.

[holyposition]

Favoritism for what? My sport was football, so correct me if I'm wrong, but quickest time wins. Easy.

Rotten luck. Not the worst deal though, if he's not expecting any repeats.

[longitudinal]

The coach acts like he's spending more time with me - more attention. It's just a pissing contest.

And no, he knows there are no repeats. It was boring, Teo.

But tell me - the dating. What's the favor for? Who are we trying to fool, and why?

[holyposition]

Have they tried just swimming faster?

My parents. They're all up in arms about "inappropriate age gaps".

[longitudinal]

That's what I keep telling them. Skill issue.

But wait - age gaps? Who's the lucky old man?

[holyposition]

No one. Well, I'm seeing someone, but it's not serious.

Harry. He's 37 and recently divorced. Papa's on a tear.

[longitudinal]

Ooh you're seeing someone? I haven't seen it in the tabloids yet so it must be juicy.

Also 37 isn't that bad, what's their deal?

[holyposition]

I can trust you with a secret, right? Top secret.

They want to marry me off to someone richer or more famous, I guess.

[longitudinal]

My lips are sealed, sweetheart. Have been this whole time.

And gross that they think the can dictate that. We'll get fake married if that's the prerogative. Really cause a scene.

[holyposition]

The tabloids have seen us together. Everyone has. They just don't know it's him.

They'd come around on it, if you can pull out the win.

[longitudinal]

Shit. No better way to hide a secret than in plain sight. Where's he now?

And I don't know about gold - guess I'll have to settle being your long-term trophy wife and you can have all the mistresses you want.

[holyposition]

He's around here somewhere.

You know I wouldn't put you through that. The marraige part, at least.

[longitudinal]

Do you still want to be around him?

Also please. Marriage with benefits. We get the health insurance, all the clout, and we can both see who we want until we decide we like someone. Then we can have a very messy and dramatic breakup, get twitter hot on our tails and live happily ever after.

[holyposition]

Sure. He’s sweet. Just a little intense.

God, you’re right. Marry me immediately so you can move to Europe and not have to worry about bullshit like health insurance. Might not be too late to swim for Italy.

[longitudinal]

Intense how? Hopefully only in a good way.

Oh see, now you're talking. Good healthcare, a hot husband, and an Italian villa? Say less. Let me get a ring. 😉

[holyposition]

Oh, you know. He wants me to be more than the younger guy he fucks through his mid-life crises. Gotta calm him down every once in a while. He's great though. He'll make someone really happy after he wraps up his meltdown.

💍💍

[longitudinal]

And you think he's going to forget you once he's done with his meltdown?

Also how many carats are we talking? I'm not a gold Olympian yet!

[holyposition]

They always do.

Depends on how you place :)